One of the great things about being in my field are some of the amazing people you meet and the transformative things they do. My colleague (and I hope he'll let me call him my friend) Dr. David Rosmarin is one of those people. Always at the cutting edge of research in anxiety disorders and also in spirituality and its impact on mental health Dr. Rosmarin is the colleague who helps you be "in the know" on best practices. But he is also a great person who is not afraid (no pun intended) to share from his own personal experiences and thoughts and scrutinize them honesty for the betterment of others.
Take the past year when Dr. Rosmarin went on a search to reconsider his approach to anxiety. Expertly thoughtful and personally driven he re-examined his approach to NON-CLINICAL anxiety. Backing himself up with the research -- as he always does, he released a terrific tome "Thriving with Anxiety" and went on a tour to promote it. I thought this TED talk really summed some of the best ideas that he conceptualized in his approach and reflected a culmination of many of the different ideas about Anxiety in general society that he and I have shared in the past. Take note at how he not only talks the talk here -- he demonstrates directly -- using a great example -- himself.
Rethinking Anxiety
Despite what many of our premonitions believe, anxiety is a natural response to stress. It alerts us to potential danger and prepares us to deal with challenges. When we get an anxiety rush because we hear a blaring horn from the truck next to us on the highway, reminding us to stay in our lane, the adrenal rush sends a healthy message throughout our body to remain alert and focused. It is only when anxiety becomes overwhelming, and disrupts our daily lives that we call it "dis-order". When that happens we try to avoid the adrenal rush because we treat it as "harmful." It is at that point that measures such as avoidance often comes into play. Some avoid public speaking while others might skip social events, or relationships and others procrastinate on important tasks, or even shy away from situations that trigger anxiety. While these strategies may offer temporary relief, they can ultimately reinforce the very fears we’re trying to escape.
The Pitfall of Avoidance
Each time we dodge a situation that makes us anxious, we inadvertently strengthen our anxiety’s grip on our lives. This can lead to a shrinking comfort zone, where we feel increasingly trapped by our fears. Over time, this avoidance can lead to a host of negative outcomes, including decreased confidence, increased isolation, and a diminished quality of life.
Accepting and even Authorizing Anxiety
Instead of AVOIDANCE -- consider practicing Acceptance and Authorization.
Accepting anxiety doesn't mean resigning yourself to a life of fear; rather, it means acknowledging your feelings without judgment. "Yes, I get those emotional feelings of anxiety and the adrenal rush, heightened heart rate, measured breathing etc. sometimes. And I'm OK." Acceptance is the first step toward understanding and managing anxiety. Here’s why embracing anxiety can be transformative:
1. Enhanced Self-Awareness: Accepting anxiety allows you to explore the underlying causes of your feelings. What thoughts or situations trigger your anxiety? Understanding these triggers can empower you to address them directly.
2. Building Resilience: When you confront your anxiety, you gradually build resilience. Each time you face a feared situation, you prove to yourself that you can cope, strengthening your confidence over time.
3. Improved Emotional Regulation: Acceptance encourages you to sit with your emotions rather than suppress them. This practice can lead to better emotional regulation, allowing you to respond to anxiety in healthier ways.
So how do I Confront and even Authorize my Anxiety?
As you approach your anxiety not as a threat to your success but rather as an aspect of your human arsenal that serves a potentially positive purpose at the opportune time, you can develop a more useful perspective on anxiety reactions that you can accept. Here are some tips that might prove helpful:
1. Relaxation Exercises: Engage in mindfulness meditation or deep-breathing and grounding exercises. These practices can help ground you in the present moment, reducing the intensity of anxious thoughts.
2. Journaling: Writing about your feelings can provide clarity and insight. Journaling allows you to express your fears, helping to externalize what often feels overwhelming.
3. Gradual Exposure: Start with small steps to confront situations that trigger your anxiety. Like Dr. Rosmarin discusses in the TED talk, confronting anxious situations is incredibly empowering. Gradual exposure can help desensitize you to your fears. Just take a look at what it did to one of his!
4. Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Therapy, whether individual or group, can provide valuable tools for managing anxiety. Here at the Center for Anxiety Relief we use a variety of CBT and ACT techniques to help our clients confront and even authorize their anxiety making them authorities in the process.
And Remember...
Anxiety can feel like an unwelcome companion, but it doesn’t have to dictate your life. By choosing to accept and confront your anxiety rather than avoiding it, you open the door to personal growth and resilience. Dr. Rosmarin confronted his anxiety about public speaking and thrived on it. His challenge inspired me to confront mine about publicizing my writing. Now its your turn. Remember, the journey may be challenging, but each step you take toward acceptance can lead to a more fulfilling and empowered life. Embrace your anxiety, and watch as you transform your relationship with it from one of fear to one of strength.
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